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| 12:10am 06/11/2005 |
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mood:  annoyed music: stupid real world re-runs
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Not having a car SUCKS..... as do empty promises as well as not being worth other peoples time and energy apparently. |
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| Silly Me and my Girly, Medicine induced, Mood Swings! |
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| 12:44am 02/11/2005 |
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mood:  blah music: nada
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Updates
-I am avoiding all forms of work like the plague for some reason.
-I love my new iPod video, but fear for it's safety while in my possesion.
-I was in a car accident. Was not my fault it was a hit and run. I'm fine i guess, although i hit my head and have an annoying bruise on my forehead. My car is fucked yet again, and i have decided that since this is the fifth time something bad has happened to my car, it is bad luck. I toold this to mmy grandfather, and i now now what my my graduation present will prolly be (YAY for gas guzzeling SUVs with steel parts that wont crumple like paper).
-I have rediscovered the joy and pain of ultra fine glitter!
-I still am in serious like with Mikey (god wiill i ever learn!).
-I am wishing i still did opera.
-I still miss my ex sometimes, but i realize its ok and it doesnt mean that im not over him.
-I HATE MY CLASSES!
-Aderol makes me deppressed.
-I realize that everyone requires attenntion, but soome people are a lil annoying/extravagant when tryinng to get that attenntion.
-Im giving up on trying to force friendships (new or old) to work.
-I have decided to stop worrying so much about peoples reaction to what i say..... cuz generlly if they take it the wrong way, i usually dont care anyway.
-and the most important thing is....
... I have realized that i am feelig a llittle lonely cuz it is definitely time for me to find a boyfriend. That void i need filled in my life is the one which my ex left empty. Im tired of hearing that cliche text book answer "you need to make yourself happy".... BEEN THERE, F'ing DID THAT!
I want someone who i can depend on and who wants to depend on me.
I want to have someone who wants to spend as much time with me as they possibly can, and who will want to tell eveyone "this is my boyfriend".
I just want to feel important to someone and be number one in their book, and make them feel the same. |
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| .............................................. |
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| 01:41am 24/10/2005 |
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mood:  lonely music: Madonna "Hung Up" only because Ashlee took all my girls!
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I feel un-special and drowned out of everyones else's lives, so i think i will bury myself in work and not care so much about anything in particular for awhile until someone shows a reciprocated bit of interest in me. So if i look spaced out or disinterested for the next few days, I AM! (donnt try and analyze it either, it is what it is and if you dont like what i have to say dont listen (im surprised you were bothering to hear me in the first place!). |
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| 02:06pm 13/10/2005 |
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mood: drained music: Stupid Girl - Garbage
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| Your Birthdate: April 10 | 
Your birth on the 10th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life.
The number 1 energy suggest more executive ability and leadership qualities than you path may have indicated.
A birthday on the 10th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach.
This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.
You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed.
You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations. |
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| 12:59am 09/10/2005 |
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mood: numb music: MY HUMPS
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THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Michael
2. Khaki (only to Jackie)
3. Penie (only to Alicia)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. indianoutlaw555
2. hippopotamihuntr
3. ( i have only had two )
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my lips
2. my feet
3. my skin tone
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my FAT
2. the gap between my two front teeth
3. my nose
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Italian
2. African American
3. Cherokee
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. spiders
2. dieing alone
3. drag queens
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. animals
2. talking
3. a good outfit
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. uncomfortable but nice looking dress shoes
2. a necklace an old friend gave me that i have onnly worn twice before tonight)
3. my "splurge bought" lime green track jacket
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists) AT THE MOMENT:
1. Christina Aguilera (always and forever)
2. Mariah Carey
3. Green Day
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT
1. "Dirrty"
2. "We Belong Together"
3. "La Tortura"
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE ACTORS AT THE MOMENT:
1. Tom Welling
2. Dennis Quaid
3. Vinny
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE ACTRESSES AT THE MOMENT:
1. Angelina Jolie
2. Lindsay Lohan
3. Nicole Kidman
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. dating someone older than me
2. working in the field i want to make a career out of
3. cooking
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Someone who truly wants me around and who will go th extra mile to be with me
3. A LOT of sex
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order)
1. I get offended easily
2. I lie so much i often do it when its not even neccissary
3. My real name is not really Michael
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Calves
2. Back
3. Scent
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Not talk
2. Stay Mad
3. Stop falling for guys I cant have
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Art
2. Singing
3. Riding Horses
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. have sex
2. Buy everything on my wish list
3. be thin
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Advertising
2. Actor
3. Magazine (art and design for)
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Great Britain
2. Italy
3. Vermont
THREE NAMES YOU LIKE FOR YOUR FUTURE KIDS:
1. Victoria
2. Avivah
3. Michael
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Own at least three different types of Porsches
2. Be famous enough to walk on a red carpet
3. Get married
FIVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. Patrick
2. Joe T.
3. Racheal Nay
4. Adria
5. Skip |
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| AHHH! |
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| 12:52pm 04/10/2005 |
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mood:  hopeful music: repeats on mtv
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on a more iinteresting and less morbid note.... I am beggining to see more and more how amazing older more established (not OLD OLD) guys are....
Also, does anyone have any techno, electronic, foriegn (or not) music? |
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| hmmm.... |
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| 01:40am 03/10/2005 |
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mood: drained music: Hot European Dance Music!
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 | You scored as A MetroHomoSexual. Straight or really, really gay? Metro to the core, but it�s your outward appearance that�s most important. Narcissist? Hell no, you just want to look better and more expensive than everyone else.
A MetroHomoSexual | | 75% | Normal, Boring and Gay | | 65% | An AberHollisterAE Gay or Fratmo | | 60% | A Jock | | 55% | A Closet Case | | 30% | </td>
What Kind of Gay Man Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
In Other News.....
I'm OVER a lot of people, and while its healthier and more relaxing.... i find myself completely bored and going mentally stir crazy.
I'm happy with classes, and the lack of work required, PLUS i have found MY new love... Computer Art (which is odd cuz i dont normally like computer's and i avoided them as a tool of art like the plague up until this summer, how silly of me!)
I'm scared of house council's response to my third meeting abscence in a row!
A Few Good Men is sounding good, and im glad that i continued with it for another year.
I told my grandparents im definitely moving to Boston or Nuevo York when i graduate (most likely the former)
I would kinda like to talk to Papa B still from time to time, but im fine w/o doing so and i dont miss him, so im not sure if i should bother calling him?
It sadden's me that a lot of my friends are so critical of each other, and it tires me to always be the one that EVERYONE shares thier opinions of others with, cuz i feel like im always cought in the middle and being a bad friend to another. I guess i wish that humans werent so judgemental. ( I still Love you ALL!)
I miss boys, it;s seems none of my male friends are at all interested in hanging out with me anymore. I'm being OVER estrogenized, and i would like to just be around a guy for a lil while. (and to you girls... I STILL LOVE YOU ALL!)
I need to get some sleep like woah!
And, finally...... I was friended by a stranger whoo has the same name as i, and is also gay....i was llike WTF! im not the only one!!! |
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| An update |
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| 10:49am 25/09/2005 |
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mood: content music: Gold Digger
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Ok havent written in here forever,
So, as obvious, im back at school, and im sorta liking it but in other ways im not. I feel like my clsasses are letting me down, cuz none of themm interest me. Painting would be fun, if i were finallly alllowed to do what i want, but noooooooo (plus its at (nine-o-fuckin clock in the mornin! WHAT IS THAT!)
I'm also a lil upset with my friendships, i feel like there has been some massive shift in my relations with peoople, My everyonnce in awhhile friends have become my EVERY DAY friends (this doesnt bother me at all BTW, i love being clloser to them) BUT, my closer friends from years past, i almost never see anymore, including the closest, who lives right below me. It's sad, but i feel like talking aabout will induce something bad, maybe im just being a emotionally constipated boy in this instance.
Speaking of emotionally constipated boys, I met another one that i like, but again, why would i do that to myself all over again! I wish that my mind were occupied with more with other things, cuz all i think about is guys, and starting a relationship. I'm annoying myself now, no5t to mention stressing myself out. AND WHAT IS WITH ALL THE STR* GUYS ACTING GAY AROUND ME...... if your not gay dont flirt with me, in fact dont even be as nice as you alll seem to be around me, it's fuckin CONFUSING!! IDIOT! That being said, i think iimm oover mike. Thank God.
I text messaged my ex-the day before yesterday to see how he was, I havent really talked to him in like a month and that was only for like 5 mins. He didnt text back, but i'm kinda glad i dunno how a friendship would work between us would work, and in not all too interested to find out.
ok, so now im getting lazy...
- got a new gecko, and adult named hillary. my other one, Lindsay, is not doing so hot.
- I still wor at petco, i am stilll disliking it, and aparently no one else from work likes it anymore.
- i am not liking this whoole being broke thing
- .... i dunno, i felt like i had a lot more to say. OK ttyl buh bye! |
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| On the prowl! |
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| 08:20pm 21/08/2005 |
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mood:  determined music: The music of my life's enviornment at home
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Ok 2 hours til the auction for my newest messenger bag goes of on eBay, i WILL NOT be outbid!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It IS MINE!
on an even odder note...... guess who called me.....well its the 21st.....exactly 8 weeks since he left for boot camp! On 99.9% im over it all, and iim 100% looking for someone new, but the fact that he called me ASAP is a lil unnerving, i mean geez, i thought he would be fully into his military mind set and would have convinced himself he was sick of me (hell i almost did the same of him) and all that hhad gone on before he left. I dunno, i guess im proud of myself, cuz the reason i was sooo surprised he called was that i wasnt looking forward too it nor was i hoping that he would, i just didnt expect it. And im glad.
Anyway,,,, tomorrow is the big day! BACK TO SCHOOL! im so excited.....and a lil sad, cuz i knoow my grandparents are gonnna miss me being around, especially my grandma, and i'm also gonna miss hanging out with Kate for hours at a time. Watching UFO and other supernatural movies and hitting eBAy up like mad.
Im thinking of doing that list of 20 songs thing everyone is doing on LJ but im a lil lazy and need more convincing. |
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| 01:37am 20/08/2005 |
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mood:  anxious music: Money...thats what i want!
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So, i got paid again, and i've already put a good dent in my wallet
not TOO bad but i bought two things off of eBay and i got one more to bid on (AND WIN OF COURSE) before the weekend is out. I also need to buy two canndles, and two picture frames before i go back to school. I really have to riegnn iin the spending, cuz i know spending time with friendds costs money too (its true and you know it), as well as i may need to take my gecko to thhe vet, which i hear will cost a good amount of money. there are definitely some movies i would like to buy from blockbuster when they go on sale, and also i need two more polo shirts. Arrg i need that backpay like NOW! (either that or a rich/working BF lol)
On a humorous note, i ate some good ole maryland crabs tonight for the first time in a long time, and they were awesome (god bless OLD BAY!) I'm tempted to get a bunch of ppeople together at goucher, buy some crabs, and have a crab feast on the lawn. that would be fun. |
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| 09:31pm 18/08/2005 |
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mood: blah music: crickets
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Taco Bell is Underrated...and yes i will continue too think outside thhe bun, cuuz out here it is yummy. (Everyone must try at least one crunchwrap supreme!)
Today I decided i was not gonna be able to deal well with stupid people..... to bad it was the beggining oof my shift and 75% of Annapolis is dumb and the rest are evil.
Highlight of the day..... I recieved a simultanious over the shoulder look back..... for those of you who dont know what that is...basically i checked a guy out and he checked me out and then as we passed each other we both looked back after a few yards. It was fun.
Bunnies are really cute.....Please SOMEBODY DONT LET ME GET ONE! |
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| Uggh |
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| 09:55pm 15/08/2005 |
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mood: bitchy music: commercials
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ok so today was a lil sucky.
I hhaad my first two cavaties (ever!) filled, and the dentist didnt numb my lower jaw as well as he should have so i felt almost everythhing.......all i can say is OWW, and ii will NOT be having another cavity ever again!
Afterwards i went to the grocery store con mi mama, and for some reason we both attract the most irritating, wiered, confused, ugly, or just plane rude people, when we are out......today was no different......and we all know hhow much i like people (nill) so add pain to that and being really cold, and heads were about to role.
We got home, the macoroni i asked her to buy wasnt what i expected but i felt bad cuz i had made it a point of getting that particular brand thinking it would have a stellar affect upon my pallette (lol i fancied it up there).
When i got home home, my grandmother was in a "difficult" mood; not quite mad or sad or tired, just all of them and something else too. Dinner was completely un appatizing and........
Then my Gecko died as well
Suprisingly after all that im ok, more exhausted then anything. Oh well time to wwatch the new episode of WEEDS! |
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| 12:14pm 14/08/2005 |
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mood:  discontent music: La Tortura
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Yesterday was nice, stayed at home all day for the first time in a long time. Watched the notebook for the first time. I ddint think it was very sad at all....then i saw the end....I felt like an unloved middle aged white trash housewife watching another one of Susan Surranden's Life Time movies.
My piercing is doing good hopefully second time is the charm.
I tried too start packing last night, which more or less turned into me sweating bullets in our humid as all hell garage at 9pm, then i decided to try and seperate all thhe junk i would not need, which then led to me searching for all those caps they give you for you apple product wires and placing them with all the wires in one container. then i watched the two MOST annoying episodes of last season's "Sweet Sixteen"; the ones with Ava and the "Crunkest" Girl. then ii proceeded to drop a bag ful of beads all over the floor ,,,,,TWICE. Needless too say my packing/organizing wasnt extremely succsseful.
Now im off to Towson |
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| YAY PACKAGES!!!!!! |
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| 02:37pm 13/08/2005 |
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mood: giddy music: I need some HOT STUFF
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I LOVE recieving packages in the mail! Today i got three!
i got my new Apple Mighty Mouse, and let me say it is saw awesome its scary. Lub It!
then i got two things i ordered from eBay.... a car charger (that cost $0.01) for my phone, and a car charger for my iPod mini ($0.99).
Both of thee things i got on eBay came with free gifts...an LED Light and a cell phone sticker antenna thing.
This has all made my day quite..... Delightfull! |
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| YAY I'm a MAC Loser too! |
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| 06:37pm 10/08/2005 |
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mood: content music: Can i get a YEEE HAW!!!!!!!
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So i finally got my new Mac Powerbook yesterday, and its so awesome......(i got the adoraable 12" version). It has a superdrive so i can burn dvds now i think. To be honest i really haave no clue what the hell its capable of but ii know its a lot, the only thing that are pissin me off are that i seem to hit the keys differently, causing repeated letters; also my mouse died, and im currently without a right click option! Thankkfully i spent a ridiculous amount of money on the new apple mighty mouse which is on its way to my hoouse as i type. YAY!
Im so excited to go back to school and se everyone, and not work, and have my room all to myself! I'll miss not having hw, BUT i will not miss evil Anapolis Shoppers and standing at a register all day. This week especially sucks cuz the new cashier (the onne suspected of stealing money from the register) was n a car accident and so i hhad to work mornings this week and....well we all know i am no morning person!
As for the move in, i need to find some time REALLY SOON to organize my suff so i wont bring so much uneeded crap with me (of course now is not a good time lol), and buy some stuff i need. |
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| Its all over! |
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| 10:59pm 07/08/2005 |
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OMG,
so i just watched the series finale of Queer as Folk and it made me really sad, cuz its all over now. It's wiered how sentiment lays itself out.
just a thought. |
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| not so bad after all. |
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| 12:16am 15/07/2005 |
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mood: cheerful music: Wannabe -Spice Girls
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Ok so for a lil while at the beggining of the week things were getting pretty sucky. At least in my mind. I was actually starting to get deppressed by the thought that i may never get anywhere with mike,. Ironically i read this in an article titled "10 Rules for Gay Dating".....
#1 Avoid straight folks.
Of course, this only applies to gay folks. If you are straight, then the rule is; avoid gay folks. These first four rules fall under the category of “What Are You Looking For?”. If you are gay, falling for a straight person is a sure-fire way to get hurt. And vice-versa. Don’t believe me? Just watch The Object of My Affection or Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss. Don’t ever go into any relationship with the thought, “Well I can change him/her.” Kiss of death.....
....the problem is that i accept his straightness, but it doesnt stop me from liking him like mad.
Oh well, corrine told me today that she knows a freshmn that she would like me to meet, and ironically we've acknowleged two "signs" that seem to point toward good things from this meeting.
Mike wasnt the only reason for my distress earlier though,.....f\i had to work another four day stretch. For the first three days i hated my job. I had customers snap at me, and managers who didnt do anything, messed up registers, and ignorant, stupid, ugly, and annoying customers.....the people in annapolis are...well....i just dont know...but they sure are something. Tonight was awesome, i worked with all of my favorite people and i didnt really have to do anything (which is how i like it). Afterward we went to Chili's and ate cake, drank, and gossiped. It was fun.
My grandmother confirmed today that she was in fact gonna buy me an iBook, and even more awesome is the fact that i will get ANOTHER iPod mini for free. Yes that means i will have 2 fully functioning computers and 2 fully functioning iPods. A bit much, and i doubt i will know what to do with all of them.
Ok well i guess thats a lot of writing for now, so i will stop and revel in the fact that aweka from today i will be in MA visiting Elisa. HIT ME!
| You Are a Frappacino | 
At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern
At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent
You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet
Your caffeine addiction level: low |
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| Crafty Crafty Me! |
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| 11:23pm 06/07/2005 |
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mood: anxious music: If you had my Love
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Ok so maybe not original, but something i have wanted to try for myself for awhile. I just decided im gonna revamp a pair of jeans that i dont wear often anymore. My weapons of choice will include a cheese grated, bleach, a wood burner, a knife, and maybe paint.
ok.......i'll admit, this new proyecto was yet another result of me watching too much t.v. There is a new Levi's commercial where the guy re-creates his old worn out jeans and gives the remakes to his girlfriend and keeps his for himself (clever fella)
I'm thinking of doing some clothing sketches too, i know i'm not a fashion student, but its another form of art, and its kinda cool. I also need to start keeping a sketch book around me more, because recently ideas have been popping into my head left and right and i need to document them for later execution.
Actually, today has been a day filled with fashion on my mind, i was even thinking of an angel-esque type costume for next halloween....that is, if im skinny by then......and it would be nice if i could find myself a handsome devil to match!
AHHHHHH Toooo MaNy IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You Are Opium!
 You like to have fun and enjoy life. Reeeeeally enjoy life. If it isn't fast, loud, or extreme forget it. You value friendship and are loyal and will not hesiste to go off if someone crosses you. What Naughty My Little Pony Are You? |
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| That KINDA sucked. |
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| 04:20pm 05/07/2005 |
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music: well i made a new playlist earlier does that count?
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Ok, im back from my three day holiday with kristen and mike (mostly mike since kristen had to work).
I think i learned my lesson finally, I love Kristen to death, but im never gonna make specific plans with her, or at least rely on those plans, from now on its gonna be the play as you go with her (and thats still cool!)
As for mike and gunther, well i went OCD on thier apartment, so its clean (for the moment). they had a mini party, and i got drunk, but nothing embarrasing happened. I do however feel a bit sad, I REALLY REALLY like mike, and everyone including himself knows it. I'm a lil confused about how to act around him, and what exactly he feel about my actions when i am around him. Apparently all the girls i know and know him think he may be gay, two parent i know also, and two guys as well (one of which is gay), Ironically im still writing him of as str8, but these peoples opinions do screw with my head from time to time. I really hope i didnt ruin his 4th, by dragging him places he didnt wanna go or keepin him from other friends (his response to this was "thats nonsense"; but he is tooooo nice, so sometimes i dont know if i should always believe him). I ersonally didnt ejoy myself cuz im silly and get jealouse, and gunthers female freinds showed up. As we all know im am not one for strangers, or unforeseen situations with flirtatious girls who ruin what lil plans im trying to stick with and change the dynamics of things. I dunno, im not sure what im trying to say, so if non f what i just said made sense dont worry about it i was just ranting. (p.s. the girls were very nice though i just wished that the one that stayed the longest would have left earlier and not tried to make new plans!!!)
Also i had to waste more money than i thought, and i hate borrowing money from people! but all will be good when im paid on friday.
I think im getting a lil lonely and want someone special for my own, im gonna try to be less clingy toward mike, and i hope that when he leaves for hungary for a month that i will be able to focus more on other things/people. OK sucky entry, i know, maybe i will make a funner one later. |
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foepaw's journal